Email me?
Steve says: "Emily, your problem is that you are friends with all different kinds of people: stoners, skaters, Republicans, Mormons" [everyone falls into one of the above categories, don't they?] "and that worked for you in high school, but that isn't working for you anymore. You get it from all sides. You're too conservative. You're too liberal. You're too Mormon. You're too whatever. You can't win."
Elliot says: "I think Facebook is, like, pulling people apart, not bringing people together!"
I say: Amen, to all of it, except the part that suggests I shouldn't have diverse friends anymore.
I'm taking a pretty major Facebook sabbatical because I've been in the enemy-making business too much lately. I honestly do not try to say offensive things to people, but the written word is so much harder to interpret for meaning and nuance than is the verbal word, and I tend toward abruptness, so I end up irritating people, appearing smug or self-righteous, or miscommunicating my intentions. I'm also vocal: I like conversation, I like to be heard, and I have a very hard time biting my lip and walking away in an argument or discussion that I feel strongly about or in which I feel I have been mischaracterized.
One dear friend made me cry for two days straight when he unfriended me last year because my fb feed was bringing too much hate into his life. What? Come again? Can I have a do-over because that was not my intention, ever ever ever.
Oh yeah, I'm also sensitive. I'm a vocal arguer who gets her feelings hurt. It sort of stinks.
I'm not even that opinionated. I pride myself on being able to see multiple sides of almost every issue. I can be persuaded. I rarely take a firm stand.
Yet I have been making enemies, and lots of them: political, religious, you name it. I hate enemies. I love people, I really do. Don't listen to that part in my last post about being misanthropic.
So, I'm taking a little break. If you don't see me on Facebook, I did not unfriend you (I wouldn't do that, because I know it stinks). I'm just detoxifying for a while. I told the kids I'd not go on Facebook (at least) as long as they don't eat candy, and we shook on it.
I love you. If my cousins are reading this, I especially love you and hope we can still be friends. Real friends, not spew-ugly-mean-spirited-things-at-each-other-online-that-we-would-never-say-in-person-facebook-friends. 'Cause that kind is bringing me down.
Elliot says: "I think Facebook is, like, pulling people apart, not bringing people together!"
I say: Amen, to all of it, except the part that suggests I shouldn't have diverse friends anymore.
I'm taking a pretty major Facebook sabbatical because I've been in the enemy-making business too much lately. I honestly do not try to say offensive things to people, but the written word is so much harder to interpret for meaning and nuance than is the verbal word, and I tend toward abruptness, so I end up irritating people, appearing smug or self-righteous, or miscommunicating my intentions. I'm also vocal: I like conversation, I like to be heard, and I have a very hard time biting my lip and walking away in an argument or discussion that I feel strongly about or in which I feel I have been mischaracterized.
One dear friend made me cry for two days straight when he unfriended me last year because my fb feed was bringing too much hate into his life. What? Come again? Can I have a do-over because that was not my intention, ever ever ever.
Oh yeah, I'm also sensitive. I'm a vocal arguer who gets her feelings hurt. It sort of stinks.
I'm not even that opinionated. I pride myself on being able to see multiple sides of almost every issue. I can be persuaded. I rarely take a firm stand.
Yet I have been making enemies, and lots of them: political, religious, you name it. I hate enemies. I love people, I really do. Don't listen to that part in my last post about being misanthropic.
So, I'm taking a little break. If you don't see me on Facebook, I did not unfriend you (I wouldn't do that, because I know it stinks). I'm just detoxifying for a while. I told the kids I'd not go on Facebook (at least) as long as they don't eat candy, and we shook on it.
I love you. If my cousins are reading this, I especially love you and hope we can still be friends. Real friends, not spew-ugly-mean-spirited-things-at-each-other-online-that-we-would-never-say-in-person-facebook-friends. 'Cause that kind is bringing me down.
Comments
Welcome to facebookless land. It's lovely over here.
And I'm offended by people who use multiple exclamation points!!!!
Just kidding. Thought I'd keep the enemy thing going. I'm so glad that I was one of those friends you reached out to in highschool. And I think the all kinds of friends thing still works for you. Public forums are just difficult for real communication.
I love you.
Mi familia, thanks for having my back. It's too bad that the specific people we are referencing don't realize that the garbage they say is hurtful to Mom. They don't have a better friend in the world than Aunt Amye.
It's also too bad that they are not the sole source of toxicity for me. I have had too many negative interactions on fb lately, including others who sabotage posts I write and make them into something they are not, as well as people who post things that just plain leave me in a bad mood.
It's a time waster, and remember? My basement smells like pee. I have things to do.
Nice to see your true colors, Abby.
my true colors are that i love my cousins and always will but am tired of being a doormat. so thanks for calling me out on that. you keep waving your true colors of bashing on us. if you seriously don't like me now because i'm taking your bait, then i'm not sure what was trying to be accomplished.
Ally, neither Abby or I could ever hate you or any member of your family, and we look forward to resuming civility and familial contact with you at your discretion.
sorry to hear that there's some bad family/political/religious drama going on. If it makes you feel any better, these things have gotten out of hand with my extended family as well in the past- which is why I never really use facebook for status updates etc.
I hope that means if you're quitting facebook you'll be back on this blog more regularly.
I remember Steph making me promise to keep my political passions under control. I have some strong opinions. I also was nicknamed Switzerland in High School after I bout of drama erupted among some of my friends. We can keep our convictions and still be civil.
It was refreshing in 2008 and again this last summer to visit with you and Steve. We don't all have to have the same opinions. There are fewer and fewer things in my life that I hang onto as absolute truth. I am seeing more and more gray. That being said, knowing God by doing my best to follow him has become among the few things that I have held onto as true. Abraham Lincoln said, “When I do good I feel good, when I do bad I feel bad, that’s my religion.”
I agree with your self description of being a conversationalist. That you try to look at things from other perspectives. Face to face communication helps bring across so much more what we really mean.
I count myself lucky to know you and to have spent some happy and interesting conversations.