Friday, July 28, 2006

Ugh

If you want to see the worst movie of all time, watch Because of Winn-Dixie.

That is all.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Rosebud

If I ever have a pet, that's what I'm naming it.

PS--Neil, I challenge you to a game of Monopoly with Visa. I get to pass out the props.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Top 10 Reasons Why This Weekend Confused Me

10. Lloyd, or is it Floyd, Landis won the Tour de France, but apparently he has trouble walking across a room. Pain was his motivator to push himself. Huh?

9. I was really, really counting on Coronado/San Diego to be COOL this weekend, as in temperature-wise. Oh, but it was not.

8. My brother references South Park as a springboard for an earnest discussion on Mormonism.

7. We were guests in the home of a person with whom my husband has a very unusual relationship...his boss.

6. An airline can make two pieces of checked baggage disappear into thin air, even on a 45-minute direct flight. Truly amazing.

5. I had no idea how lost I would feel getting ready for church this morning without a brush, blow dryer, single piece of make-up, eyeglasses, favorite bra, Shade Clothing tees in assorted colors, cute black dress I bought in a boutique in Portland, contact case, nail clippers... I could go on. And on. And on. I had no choice but to curse the incompetence of the airline employees, and then cry.

4. When I parked our car at the airport on Thursday ==> half tank of gas. When we got in it to drive home Saturday ==> almost completely empty. Were we the victims of a senseless siphoning crime?

3. Apparently people knowingly sign themselves up to work and live on aircraft carriers. Excuse me, but I toured one yesterday and it is the pits. Noooooooo, thank you. Uh-uh.

2. My nieces start school tomorrow and their school is not on a year-round schedule. (Or is it?) (Good luck on your first day of kindergarten, Gracie! Try not to focus too much on the fact that it's still the middle of JULY.)

1. Valuable tip I picked up from the most lavishly wealthy person I have ever met: buy bags of ice at Sonic.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Miss Me




Jumping on an offer this weekend for a spontaneous, all-expense-paid trip to gorgeous Coronado, California, where the average high temperature in July is 73 degrees. Forecast in Phoenix this weekend: 111 degrees. Ahh, how I will not miss those 37 degrees. Going to walk on some beautiful beaches, maybe shop at some chichi shops, read some 1776, and eat some good food, whilst my husband is anxiously embroiled in a new case for work.

Alas, it will not all be effortless and carefree: I will be staying at someone's house with whom I am not entirely at ease and hanging out with older, richer women whom I do not know. (Ought I to give a gift to the hostess for her hospitality? What is the expectation for business trips? What do I get for the most lavishly wealthy person I have ever met??)

Anyway, did I mention 37 degrees cooler? Nice restaurants? The beach?

It was a tough decision.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Overrated.

My kids were thoroughly unimpressed by the four (four!) fireworks shows we could see from the balcony at Steve's office. Just like I would have been when I was a kid. Bo-o-o-o-o-ring.

Other things I thought were boring: Sea World, zoos, New Year's Eve, the Grand Canyon. I've only started to like these things since I've had kids who could get excited about them. But they don't; they take after their mom. They'd rather be playing strategic board games with their dad.

Just like I would. I'm so proud.

Post script: We recently spent a week in which we went to wedding festivities, swam in the hotel pool, spent a day at the beach, went to Disneyland and California Adventure, played with cousins, et cetera. "Aaron, what was your favorite part of our trip?" Without hesitation: "At the hotel, when the couch pulled out into a bed. That was so awesome!"