Tuesday, November 28, 2006

All my fans are gonna be very interested in my experience with this mumbo jumbo of the moment

Are you freaking kidding me?! Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are getting divorced?? Didn't they just get done having their, like, 7th wedding last week?

My inquisitive neighbor, who is herself not a fastidious housecleaner, just came over, looked at my kitchen, and asked, "Did you have a party?" You know it's time to clean up when....

Elliot, age 7, who has been playing Frosty the Snowman on the piano for weeks and weeks, who loves this song, who has it memorized, plays it for everyone, does not complain about practicing the piano because he gets to play Frosty the Snowman, and who is going to perform it at the mall on Saturday for all the festive shoppers to hear, has just announced that he no longer wants to play Frosty the Snowman, because it is too babyish. I am flabbergasted sometimes at this motherhood thing.

Did I mention that I think Cub/Boy Scouts is a major bureaucracy? I just went to the Scout shop to get a Bobcat badge for the newest member of our den. To become a Bobcat takes your average 8-year-old about 4 minutes to accomplish. He has to learn the Scout motto, handshake, uniform, etc. It is not hard. To purchase the little $1.40 badge, so the scout's mom can have it hanging over her head for months and months that she needs to sew the badge on her son's uniform, I had to fill out paperwork saying that this scout had "advanced" in rank. Probably the man hours involved in filing the proper paperwork exceed the actual time to earn the badge tenfold. I am flabbergasted sometimes by this scouting thing (although the actual job of working with the boys is easy and fun).

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Eleven twenty-five

Happy anniversary to the two lovely people who brought me into this world. They are the best.

And happy birthday to two lovely friends: Alyssa and my newest oldest friend to start blogging, Amy!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Can't touch this

Thank you for blessing me with a mind to rhyme and two hyped feet.

A superdope homeboy from the Oaktown.

Fresh new kicks and pants, you got it like that now you know wanna dance.

So wave your hands in the air, bust a few moves, run your fingers through your hair.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

I cannot stop laughing at this

Credit to a blogger named Liz from whom I stole this little piece of hilarity.

The post of many exclamation marks

I just heard Richard Simmons say: "There are no P.E. in the United States. Very few P.E." Very few P.E., people!!

Did anybody see the new game show hosted by William Shatner Tuesday night called "Show Me the Money"? Anyone? C'mon, Suzie, I know you watched it, you Star Trek fanatic. I want to discuss this game show with somebody, for its sheer awesomeness. It's impossible to lose (except for the guy who did), girls in bad dresses do really bad dancing into the commercial breaks...fantastic!! Let's discuss.

Alyssa is brilliant, kind, nurturing, about to turn 30, fashionable, tall, well-read, talented, and really good at, oh, everything. She does a mean Gwen Stefani. And now she blogs!!! Visit her often and leave lots of encouraging comments.

Amy, on the left, is amazing, too, but she has to wait until her blog is up and running before I extol her virtues.

Matt W. read my blog!! Steve and I both think fondly of Matt, and not just because he pulled a Joey Tribiani and married Diana and Neil. Shall we say, performed the marriage of. Good to hear from you.

Go to this cool blog and make any comment to enter the give-away-a-day contest. Cool stuff!!! Don't look at the past posts too closely if you are on my Christmas list (N and D) because you just may be getting some of the stuff she has on there.

It is unnatural!!! for me to use so many exclamation marks!!!!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

What I would have posted a week and a day ago if my scanner had been working

Governor Napolitano and Norah Belle, just after Janet had used a non-word ("recept") to describe what all the people at the party should do, and just before a little baby tug-of-war ensued between me, who went to grab my baby out of her arms, and Janet, who wasn't ready to let her go. I won the tug-of-war. She won the election. Everyone's happy (except my conservative friend Nancy.)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Whoa, dude

Sure, I knew this would eventually happen, but I must admit, the timing took me by surprise. Maybe she thought the election would overshadow her news, so she chose today to make the announcement.

PS -- If I were famous, I would be absolutely PETRIFIED to get married. What is the success rate for celebrity marriages? Zero? Oh yeah, that's right.

Friday, November 03, 2006

On celestial warriors and free drugs

I have entered a new threshold in life, from which there is no turning back: Scouts. Cub scouts, to be specific. Yep, I'm a den leader. Never mind that my 4 kids are too young to participate. It don't make no never mind. Ask me how devoted I am to the Scouting program and what I think about it being a bureaucratic fraternity for adults more than anything else. Ask me.

Some highlights from yesterday's meeting:

We played Two Truths and a Lie as an introduction game. The first boy to go gave us these options to choose from. "I am a genius. I am dumb. I am cool." Hmm, which could be the lie? (Jami, that was your son, by the way. So full of confidence!)

During the closing prayer, I twisted up my face every which way and bit my cheeks and lips to keep from erupting in laughter when the 10-year-old earnestly prayed for help "as we strive to become celestial warriors." That was something he created on the spot. His parents didn't teach him that.

This isn't related to Scouts, but Aaron later made me laugh. At school it has been Drug-free Week, and the kids brought home little wristbands that proclaim that they are drug free. Aaron was looking for his and he asked, "Where is that thing I got at school that says 'Free Drugs' ?" I'm not sure the school's message is hitting home with this kindergartner.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


She's five weeks old and, but for a bad case of baby acne, cuter and bigger than ever.

Will someone teach me how to take pictures?

Congratulations to Becky and Richard on baby no. 5. We can't wait to meet our sweet unnamed new niece/cousin!