Monday, January 29, 2007

This is a story about heroes

Last night while reading in bed, I developed a hankering for sweets: specifically, cookies or cake. Almost enough to get out of bed and make something.

So I said, "Steve, I really want some cake. Or a cookie. Almost enough to get out of bed and make something." Then I added, "Why don't you call the Fattalehs and ask them if they have any cookies at their house."

In very uncharacteristic fashion, my husband picked up his phone and asked, "What's the number?" I told him and he dialed something else and got the wrong number, and then I told him again and he dialed right the second time. He then got David on the phone and asked if they had anything sweet that we could come get because I felt like eating something sweet. Jami the hero always has delicious offerings at her house that she has made and that she is willing to magnanimously share with others, so David the hero said, "We do! We have brownies and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. We'll make you a plate right now." So Stephen the hero who was wearing pajama bottoms and a sweatshirt put on some slippers and got in the car and drove to pick me up a plate of delicious offerings. He brought them home and I meant to take a picture of him in his pajamas coming in the door with a plate full of cookies for me, but, alas, I'm not very good with the photographic documentation of life, so I didn't. Then I proceeded to eat four (4!) of Jami's fabuloso oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, in blatant violation of my No Eating After Nine policy. They hit the spot, bigtime.

And so I honor the heroes in my life who made this special occurrence possible. Steve, you are seriously the best husband. Jami and David, you rock and I'm going to the kitchen right now to make cookies for you to replenish your supply. Mwah!

Saturday, January 27, 2007

And I know what you think, what you think about me

Remember the Housemartins?

I am your slice of life.

I'm listening to a tape. It's one of my favorite mix tapes of all time made by one of my favorite people of all time: the beautiful Diana (thanks for) Sharyn.

Maybe she's just looking for someone to dance with.

Today I put some batteries in a pair of Walkie Talkies that I bought for Aaron a few weeks ago. He was so excited. He went around the house for hours, even when no one would respond, asking, "Can you read?" into his Walkie Talkie. I think he meant, "Do you read me?" but I like his variation better.

If you want me, you can find me left of centre wondering about you.

Elliot has had a few things on his mind lately. And I mean just a few things. I know because he talks about these things over and over. One of the things he thinks about is whether our extended family will go on a trip this summer to Mexico or Utah. I told him that we might go somewhere, and it might be to one of those places. Man, Elliot is really pulling for Utah. For one thing, Grandpa lives there and Elliot really loves Grandpa. For another, there might still be snow in the mountains, and he likes the big vacation rental house we might stay at. Plus, he's a little unsure about the language barriers that he would encounter if we went to Mexico. Elliot doesn't speak Spanish.

Oh baby, please give a little respect to me.

Remember Erasure?

I've been thinking good, good things about you.

Another thing that Elliot spends a lot of time thinking about is especially brought to his remembrance when we go to Costco. A few weeks ago I bought Jose Ole frozen taquitos and there was a sweepstakes on the box that I entered online just for fun. There is only one prize and it is an entire room makeover to make one lucky person the "Coolest Mom on the Block," including a flat-screen tv, La-Z-Boy chairs, X-Box, DVR, yada yada yada, and also a freezer and free groceries for a year. It was the free groceries for a year that caught my fancy. Elliot overheard me telling Steve that I was going to win this contest and we were going to get 52 gift certificates for $300 each to the grocery store of my choice, and of course I would choose Costco so I could get lots of other stuff besides food, because who could really spend that much on food every week anyway? It was a fun little fantasy to have during the phone conversation, but Elliot really began to think we were going to win. Now he has exactly one million and thirty-two questions about the contest, that he especially asks when we walk the aisles of Costco. When we win, can we buy the playground? Well, if we win, can we buy the playground? Why did you even enter if you don't think we're going to win? Do you have to buy food with the money? And lots more. I had to practically ban him from ever speaking of the matter again for sanity's sake.

Now you see me, now you don't. Don't ask me where I'm at, 'cause I'm a million miles away.

I think it's silly when people comment anonymously. I mean, come on. Stand up and be counted already. Secretly, though, (I'm about to contradict myself) I kind of like it. It's a coy game and it makes me think I have a secret admirer. My latest secret admirer is a fan of the NBA. I am too, didja know?

There's nothing you and I won't do. I'll stop the world and melt with you.

Diana, I will mail you a prize if you remember the name of the tape I am listening to.

All I want to do is just sit here and write it all down and rest for a while.

Anyone else, I will mail you a prize if you can identify five of these songs from the lyrics, without looking them up. I don't think that's too hard because exactly five of the nine have the title of the song in the lyric. All you have to do is tell me who sings it. Plus I already divulged two of the bands. If you had spectacular taste in music in the early 90s, you would know many of these. If you listened to Fight, I can't help you.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

It was more timely last night, but Steve was on the computer

Hey, all you bandwagon jumpers! It's time to get on board.

They're on fire!

Can you name 5 players on the Suns?

I can, but just barely.* And I can't match their names to their faces, but I'm learning. [I really don't even know if this is a current starting line-up. I'm just stealing copyrighted images from the interweb, here. Just trying to be a fan. Sheesh.]

I'm reclaiming my NBA enthusiasm of yore. Ask me anything. I just recently discovered that New Orleans has a team, but they don't play in New Orleans, and Charlotte is called something else, and there was another expansion team that I've never heard about, in the south. I'm learning!

Go SUNS! 2007 is our year.

*Nash. . .Diaw. . .Stoudamire. . .Marion. . .Bell. . . .

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Put your stunna shades on

Dear Alyssa,

I want to thank you for boosting my blog viewer numbers. One time you commented about the rap remix "I Wear My Stunner Glasses at Night." Well, as it turns out, there are a lot of internet users out there who google the lyrics to said song, and some of them click on my blog. At least once a day. I'm not sure if they're disappointed when they get here, as the lyrics are not to be found. Personally, I've never heard the song.

I was wondering if maybe somebody could research the lyrics to that song, and put them in the comments, so that when googlers come a-looking, they will no longer be disappointed. Perhaps each person who reads this could write just a line of the song. I'm excited about how this could really change the demographics of my readership!

Please remember to edit out any objectionable material.

Thanks a million!

Love, Emily

Friday, January 19, 2007

I hate tipping

It gives me great anxiety when I don't know if I should, or how much, or if I realize later that I should have and I didn't and that's why I got a dirty look from the guy.

Allow me to illustrate.

Restoration Hardware is having tremendous sales right now. I find myself in my car, driving to Kierland Commons to buy more stuff from RH on a regular basis these days. Today, I bought this much-needed beauty:

They had none in stock, and none in the warehouse, so I bought the floor model, though it wasn't on the floor, it was on a shelf up very high. Isaac jumped on the ottomans and tested all the lotions and pushed off the towels and Norah fidgeted and fussed and the rich Scottsdale women smiled upon us sweetly and sympathetically while we waited for about 30 minutes for the guys to take down the display model and wrap it in bubble wrap. The check-out dude asked if my car was close and since it was, said they would bring it out for me.

This fireplace screen is very, very heavy. I would not have been able to carry it while pushing the stroller and keeping Isaac from dashing in front of moving vehicles. But it never occurred to me to tip the man who carried it on his head and put it in my trunk, until he walked away with a dirty look. I'm kind of sassy and don't let dirty looks go unanswered, so I asked, "Is everything okay?" He said, "Yeah," and walked away and then I realized. Shoot!! I should have tipped him! I wish he would have answered, "I would usually get a tip at this point for helping someone to her car." But he didn't. And I didn't. And now I'm feeling bad about it. I don't want to be cheap!!

Tipping further becomes a problem because I very rarely carry cash. Ought I to always have some cash on hand just in case I might need to tip someone? I live in Phoenix, not NYC. If I carry cash, I end up spending it on frivolity--usually food of some sort--and then I don't have the cash anymore.

Also, how do I know when to tip? When someone helps with carry-out service from the grocery store? No, store policy forbids it. What about from Costco? I don't know. . .Costco employees in my experience are decidely unhelpful and I've never been offered any help in getting heavy things into my car there (even when 9 months pregnant. . .so rude!) What about somewhere like Crate and Barrel or Restoration Hardware? Apparently, the answer is yes. I don't begrudge them the tip. I just honestly don't know these things.

Please impart to me your tipping wisdom.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

January perk

I'm in love with Turbotax.

I thoroughly enjoy filing taxes.

It is reconciliation, completion, organization, exact science.

I procrastinate other tasks so I can sit in front of the computer for hours at a time entering the data.

Even though it is contrary to fiscal wisdom, I try to overpay taxes throughout the year, so I can always anticipate a small refund. A refund, though, is not necessarily why I look forward to tax season so.

I put some of that money toward the kids' college funds. Some will go toward a vacation this year (hopefully Hawaii). Steve and I will each get some cash to blow on things we've been wanting for a while. A nominal amount will go in savings, so I feel like we're making progress toward a down payment on a bigger home. We will not pay tithing, because we already paid it.

I enjoy receiving tax forms in the mail and wish they were required to be sent out before January 31.

I will help you do your taxes, if you ask me, but it will not be as fun for me as doing my own.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Quote of the day

I just heard a wacky bit of inspiration for the masses. On the Tyra Show there is a very cute, twenty-something girl who can't figure out why she never gets asked out on a second date. Hmm, could it be that she is obsessed with Tony Danza?

This is what she had to say about the middle-aged manny: "He's just a generational icon who guides us through life."

True dat.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Post-nap Saturday afternoon thoughts

Oh, it's so cold today. And I'm eating ice cream. Very, very cold.

This morning I went across the street to the mall and came home with new underwear for Aaron. They're from Gymboree, very cute. He said, with a scrunched up face, "Well, I like them. But I would like them a lot more if they had violent stuff on them." That's my boy.

Now Steve is at work and the kids just woke me up from my nap and darn it if I still don't resent Steve for taking the remote to the bathroom with him so I wouldn't get it, back when we were in San Diego two weeks ago. Kidding!

What I really want is to get my children to respond to my requests/pleas/commands without me having to get mad first. Does anyone know the secret? For instance, if I want Elliot to clean up the dinosaur/pillow fort he made, and I've already asked him to do it 4 times, and he made a half-hearted attempt for 30 seconds, but it's still not clean, what is my next move supposed to be? Do I (a) turn off the tv to regain his focus, (b) punish him, (c) keep nagging about it, or (d) raise my voice? 'Cause baby, I've tried all the above and I think I need an Option E. Suggestions welcome.

I need to start a new book. Last week I finished Letters For Emily. It wasn't really for me. I'm a book and movie snob, I think. For instance, why did so many people tell me that Night at the Museum was good? It was not.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

I love Michael Scott

I watch tv on a very haphazard basis. If I'm nursing Norah, or eating lunch, I will turn it on and flip through the channels. Usually it's the middle of the afternoon and all levels of garbage are on, so I end up switching back and forth between Dr. Phil and Family Feud, or I bemoan that nothing good is on at the same time as Martha (inclusive of Martha), so I run through the channels about 14 times, and then the baby's full or the food is gone, and I turn it off and go back to my other haphazard hobby, which is your blogs. I am absolutely a remote maniac. It is not even worth it to me to watch tv if I don't have the remote and can change immediately when a commercial comes on. I really hate commercials. So usually, I'm watching parts of two or three or four shows and I really have no idea what is going on in any of them. That's why I cannot deal with hour-long dramas. Who can keep up with the plot when you just catch a few minutes here and there? Yech! No thank you. I'm all about the game show, I like reality shows of the non-trashy variety, a witty sitcom just warms my heart. Also, let it be known that I do not schedule tv in my life. Not go somewhere on Tuesdays because American Idol is on? Are you kidding me? That's on my pet peeves list, for sure. So, because I don't usually watch tv in the evenings and because I don't believe in paying for tv, so (anything other than basic) cable, satellite, tivo, et cetera are out of the question, I really have not seen even one episode of about (WARNING: made up, totally fabricated statistic!) 90% of what is out there.

I came very late to the genius that is The Office.

But, oh baby, how I love it now!





I'm on Season 2, Disk 3 in my Netflix queue. I am filled with great glee whenever the next disk arrives in my mailbox. Love it, love it.

I should have listened to Neil when he told me about the original British series about 5 years ago. He's very au courant when it comes to music, movies and television. His current fave: The Golden Girls. You heard it here first. They're making a comeback.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Freaking awesomeness

Yesterday for dinner I picked up: pizza. We put the leftovers in the fridge. Who doesn't love cold pizza leftovers for breakfast? So that's what the kids had, bright and early. Today at lunch, I was wanting something effortless, so I cooked up a Safeway self-rising crust frozen pepperoni pizza. "The best pizza we have ever, ever had," the kids shouted. After some snacking in the afternoon on cereal and clementines, which I have, in my kitchen, we met Steve at Costco this evening to return some shoes and to get dinner at the Food Court. I grabbed a table while Steve and the kids put in their order. Chicken caesar salads for the adults, and for the kids: oh, yes, he bought them pizza! So, let's review. Last night for dinner, today for breakfast, lunch and dinner: PIZZA. All with pepperoni. And now you understand the title of this post. Scheduled for tomorrow: tour of a doughnut factory with the kids and the cubs. The awesomeness continues.

After Costco, we all went to the furniture store to peruse the bed selection. Then Elliot and I went for a night on the town to the bowling alley. It brought me back to my glory days at BYU when I took a freaking awesome bowling class. There was a very cute boy named John--in fact, his name was Bowling John-- who I got to bowl with all semester and on whom I was crushing. I tried to drop hints that we should hang out, but he didn't bite. The semester ended, the summer came and went, and the next fall I was walking up the steps in the Widtsoe Building, I want to say, or maybe it was the Marb, for the first day of my Poli Sci class. Right next to me was John, walking into the same class! I eagerly struck up a conversation and walked with him into the class, sitting right next to him. I was flirting away brilliantly when John must have motioned to a friend behind us to rescue him because all of a sudden I hear the guy call out, "John! Hey buddy! That ring is looking pretty nice on your finger!" "Ring?" I ask. "Yeah, I got married this summer," he answered sheepishly/relievedly. It was pretty freaking awesome.

Also awesome: bowling alleys are good places to go if you are a smoker.
Also awesome: Man Versus Wild is now on back-to-back episodes on Survival Friday on the Discovery Channel. My husband is in heaven like you wouldn't believe.

It's so rad.