I have been getting some very strange recorded calls lately reminding me about obscure issues to think about in the next election, or some moral issue to consider, or the proper way to dispose of toxic chemicals. Weird stuff. But what just happened beats them all--I was just totally lied to by a computer!
The conversation went something like this:
--Hi. This is Mike calling from the Dove Corporation and I can assure you, this is not a solicitation. Can I please speak with Emily?
--This is Emily.
--Emily, hi! The morals in today's movies are going downhill and Hollywood controls all of that. They are just not making movies with family values in mind, and it's only going to get worse. Let me ask you, do you have children under the age of 16?
--Yes. Who is this again?
--I am calling from a company out of Delaware called the Dove Company. It is spelled D-O-V-E, and no, it has nothing to do with the soap. We are concerned with the lack of decency in movies made today and our corporation has decided to back a company called FFE, or Films for Family Entertainment, because they have already spent millions on making wholeso--
--Is this a recording?
--Ha ha ha!! Do I sound that bad? Actually, we have been working with a computer in this call, but I can assure you you have been speaking to a live person the entire conversation. We would like to have FFE give you a call in a few days so that they will be able to tell you more--
--This is a recording, isn't it!?
(The whirring sound of computer trying to cue the right response to spew.)
--Ha ha ha!! Do I sound that bad? Actually, we have been working with a computer in this call, but I can assure you you have been speaking to a live person the entire conversation.
Boom! And there is was. The first time I have had a computer lie to me point blank. It pulled up its little pre-recorded response and I caught it in its dirty rotten lie.
Family values, my foot. The morals of recorded telephone calls are going downhill, I tell you, and it is just going to keep getting worse.
So what did I do? Not one to be rude to telemarketers (and it did sound so close to being a real dude), I said, "No, thank you" as politely as could be expected and hung up on that lying, no-good, immoral recorded telemarketing computer.