Do you know what I hear a lot that makes me want to scream?
"Everything happens for a reason."
When someone says that, it is usually the most ridiculously wrong time to assert my belief that, "Nah, they don't. Maybe some things, but not everything." The sayer has likely experienced a setback or tragedy or difficult time and is trying to find solace through her faith that God is the master puppeteer, orchestrating our daily interactions, choices and consequences of every little thing that goes down on this here planet.
When I hear an LDS person say that, I get especially frustrated. Doesn't that idea fly in the face of our doctrine? Have we been paying attention during General Conference, or haven't we?
Sure. God can and perhaps very frequently does intervene on our behalf. The power of prayer is real and miracles happen all the time. There are always opportunities for growth and learning and exercising of faith when bad things happen, but does that mean the bad thing happened because specifically so we could have that test or trial of faith or growth experience? I don't believe it. Some things happen, just because they do.
There is (at least) one experience in my life that I can directly attribute to the Hand of the Lord and I believe that will all my heart. There are countless other times when prayers have been answered and I have have been aware that the Lord has been aware and mindful of me. But I do not subscribe to the school of thought that Everything Happens For A Reason. And I'm fairly confident I could find a giant pile of church literature to back me up on this.
What think ye?
13 comments:
i think the specifics of our setbacks and why they happen are probably not as important as our reaction to them. but it is nice to think that we are each given tailor-made trials, specific to what we need to learn? that seems kind of doctrinally sound, but prove me wrong.
Agency is the guiding principle here. I could have lung cancer, not because I needed to learn something from that experience, but because I smoked three packs a day for 30 years.
We suffer consequences from our own actions and the actions of others and I don't believe that the Lord is acting upon us in every instance. Could I still learn something from going through lung cancer? Of course. Do I necessarily need to look to God to ask, Why did you give me lung cancer? I find a lot of comfort in the belief that God can and probably does intervene in our lives somewhere between never and always.
But, this is my point: I don't believe that it's never and I don't believe that it's always.
I could not agree with you more! Big point of frustration for me, too, when I hear that. Things happen. We learn and grow from them.
AG
How does inspiration play into this? If I pray for help with decision and I still seemingly make a wrong one, is it because God didn't feel the need to intervene, or was he teaching me a lesson?
Hard to know, Abra.
Maybe it wasn't the wrong decision. Maybe lots of decisions are okay by the Lord. Doesn't mean we'll always be spared difficulties if we get the go-ahead to do something and we do it. People who receive confirmation to marry someone and then later get divorced come to mind. It very well could have been a right decision to make to marry in the first place.
PS -- this post wasn't directed at you, Ab. Not at all.
Oh I know! It's just really interesting to me and something I think about often, too.
So Brad N. made a great comment on Sunday that reminded me of this post. The teacher was saying basically this same thought, that ALL things happen for a reason, and Brad said that such a belief is inherently a fatalistic and wrong view of God because it leaves out agency. Like you stated in your first comment, agency is one of the two main gifts we have in mortality. Brad said that he hears many people who are not church members say that "everything happens for a reason" because then it frees them of responsibility for their actions and puts the blame/fault/responsibility on God.
Often bad things happen because of bad decisions that we make, but instead of owning up to it and learning from it we will just say that it happened for God's own reason and leave the responsibility on His doorstep.
I also believe that difficult things will inevitably happen to all of us because we are mortal and that is part of the experience of life. There may not be a reason for everything, but in every thing that happens to us we have the power and responsibility for how we exercise our agency to deal with it, which is where I think the Lord can play a major supporting role if we will let Him.
So personally I'd agree that the "everything happens for a reason" doctrine is false, but the "I am responsible for how I react/respond to the things that happen to me" doctrine is true.
Jordan! Love your comment, love that Brad Nilsen and I are on the same wavelength. Thanks for sharing this.
Emily, I just read your post. It made me happy.
Um...I believe the big stuff happens for a reason?... Fire away.
We have agency, but our H.F. knows what our choice will be anyway (that whole all-knowing thing). I feel God's presence in my life every day.
But the small stuff, nah, nobody cares about that. Not even me (most of the time).
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