Do I ever watch tv?
It's a rare, rare occasion.
Have I watched tv at night since the finale of LOST?
Negatory, I cannot remember a single time.
As a good citizen of this fine community and country, is there anything to do but watch election results trickle in?
There is nothing else to do.
What do I want to see happen if Mike Lee wins?
When Mike Lee wins, I want my friends Marcus and Michelle to be appointed as grand rulers of something important and festive and magical.
Am I dreading writing a big term paper for my South African history class?
No doiphy, Ralph.
Should Marcus and Michelle be appointed as Rulers of Classes That Can't Make Their Students Write Terms Papers?
I can support that.
Do my children have a hard time understanding what "Don't talk!" means?
Their supreme lack of understanding qualifies them for the remedial class. Or something like that.
Is it kind of lame that I bought the AppleCare Protection Plan in May and it's still sitting wrapped on the computer desk?
Yea. A wasted $79 or however many dollars, to be sure.
Whom do I most want to win tonight?
My neighbor and friend Don Jarvis because he's a smart and capable and principled man and because darn it if Utah County hasn't elected a Democrat in over 15 years.
What was the most memorable and exciting conversation I got to have this election season?
Hands down, the 45-minute, fiery one that started: "Emily, you have a democrat's sign in your yard? I was shocked to see that." "Well, first, he's my friend... ." "I don't care if he's YOUR DAD!"