We're back in Arizona and it feels like HOME!
We went to our house for what may be the last time ever -- such a good home, why didn't somebody buy it sooner? -- and noticed the power wasn't working. The breakers were on, so I called the power company.
Me: Our power is off in our vacant house.
Arizona Public Service lady: No it's not. My computer says you have power.
Me: Yes, it is.
Her: Did you trip the breakers?
Me: Yeah, I did that.
Her: You need to trip the breakers on the inside of the house.
Me: There aren't any breakers on the inside of the house.
Her: I guarantee you there are.
Me: I guarantee you there aren't.
Her: We'll send somebody out, but you'll probably have to hire an electrician to fix the problem, whatever the problem is. You'll have to be at the house when our technician comes and it could be anytime today or tomorrow.
Me: Not gonna work. Like I said, there are no breakers inside, so why would I need to be there? Also, I am half an hour away, have four little kids, and don't even have a key to get in.
Her: Then how do you know there's no power?
Me: Because I was there, and now the door's locked.
Her: How long ago were you there?
Me: Half an hour ago. Trust me, there is no power.
Her: My computer says there is power.
Me: There is no power.
Her: Are you moving in?
Me: Moving out.
Her: Then why do you need power anyway?
Me: It has to be on for the walkthrough and I can't very well hand over a house that has no electricity.
Her: Well, you'll have to be there so the technician can tell you what's wrong.
Me: Can't you call me and tell me what's wrong?
Her: I won't be there. The technician will be there. He'll probably leave a tag on the meter.
Me: Can't the technician call me to tell me what's wrong?
Her: How will he know to do that?
Me: Can't you put it in the notes to have the technician call me to tell me what's wrong?
Her: He might not have a phone.
Me (increasingly frustrated): Can I call you back after he writes his notes on the account to find out what your computer says he says is wrong with the power at my house?
Her: It might not be posted until later today.
Me: Fine. That's fine.
Her: Thank you for calling APS.