Tell You [a] Little Story

I have been getting some very strange recorded calls lately reminding me about obscure issues to think about in the next election, or some moral issue to consider, or the proper way to dispose of toxic chemicals. Weird stuff. But what just happened beats them all--I was just totally lied to by a computer! The conversation went something like this: --Hello? --Hi. This is Mike calling from the Dove Corporation and I can assure you, this is not a solicitation. Can I please speak with Emily? --This is Emily. --Emily, hi! The morals in today's movies are going downhill and Hollywood controls all of that. They are just not making movies with family values in mind, and it's only going to get worse. Let me ask you, do you have children under the age of 16? --Yes. Who is this again? --I am calling from a company out of Delaware called the Dove Company. It is spelled D-O-V-E, and no, it has nothing to do with the soap. We are concerned with the lack of decency i...

Some of my favorite posts on some of my favorite blogs. Monoglot --My brother knows everything. The Godfreys --Dumb family jokes, maybe, but so much fun to make a Bollywood movie. Nienie --I love that story. Suzie --She has mastered the delicate art of telling a story about someone who may possibly read what you wrote. Carly --Her second most endearing post, since "Junque for Jesus" was a little too controversial for the masses and had to be laid to rest. More to come. I get so bored with the same old thing showing up on my blog, I thought a partial post would suffice to move that durn restaurant photo down the page.

A Toss of Field GREENS with Pear, Peppered Pecans, Radish & Warm Goat Cheese Red Onion Vinaigrette Almond -Crusted Rainbow TROUT, Smoked Red Bell Pepper Sauce Noodles with Asparagus Banana Rolled in Flour Tortillas, Quickly Fried; Dusted with Cinnamon Sugar Topped with Chocolate & Banana Ice Cream

Last summer, in Phoenix, a woman came home from a birthday party to find her parents and brother murdered, and her two children missing. It was believed that her husband had killed her family members when they would not let him take his children, and then he fled with the children to Mexico. She pled for the safe return of the children. Then, the children were found safe in Mexico, the man arrested and eventually extradited back to the US, and a reunion was organized for the mom with her kids. There was much media attention through the whole ordeal. The community seemed relieved that there was something of a happy ending for this woman who had already been through so much. This weekend, the little girl, 4 years old, was playing in a parking lot with her mother standing feet away. The little girl was hit by a 72-year-old man in a truck who got out to check the damage of his truck before glancing at the child and getting back in and driving away. The mother was hysterical. The little g...

I keep getting forwarded emails of a picture of a Baptist church sign with a funny message for the Mormons: "Service canceled due to loss of pastor to Mormon missionaries." "If you didn't finish the Book of Mormon, you can come to our church." I got two today. (Thanks, Jocelyn, for the inspiration for this blog.) If there are more out there, by all means, send them my way. I will start a little collection of Baptist church sayings. But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about how I was asked to speak in church on Sunday about Seeing Others the Way Heavenly Father Sees Them; aka Not Judging Others; aka Charity. As is usual with every topic about which I am asked to sermonize, I could be a little better in the area. So I'm working on it, this week especially, to try to see the infinite worth of all the individuals I encounter; to not judge them or be jealous of them or look down on them; to not do anything to them except have pure and...

I'm taking roll . I'm curious: who is reading this? I think it's important to know, for example, if my inquisitive neighbor has read about herself. What about questionable doctrine lady? What about Carly and Marcy ? If you would, just this once, identify yourself in the comments, I would be most appreciative. Friends, strangers, familial relations, lurkers, stalkers, one and all, please come forward. Make yourself known. You can say "here" or "present" or recount what book you are currently reading or your favorite lyric from your favorite song from The Doors. Anything you want to say. Just say something. Ready? Go.

Ever wonder where you would end up if you dug a hole from your house to the other side of the earth? China? Think again. If you're like me, you'd end up smack dab in the middle of the Indian Ocean, swimming like mad for Madagascar. Try it for yourself.

At least 345 people were trampled to death in a Hajj pilgrimage in Saudi Arabia. Not to be culturally insensitive, but holy cow! How very, very sad and horrific for all those people.

1. I might be a Hank Williams fan now. 2. Even though The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is kind of a silly book (I cried. Darn it!), the discussion tomorrow with my book club will rock, because I am leading it. 3. I should go to the doctor about my sore throat. No, I shouldn't go to the doctor about my sore throat. 4. Oh, to get my 2 1/2 year old to sleep through the night! 5. Samuel Alito seems to be holding up okay. I think I'd vote for his confirmation. 6. White House Press Secretary is the WORST job in the world. 7. What if my thoughts were numbered like this in my brain? 8. What were the makers of Dinotopia thinking making a four hour movie ? 9. Syphilus in Baltimore. Books could be written. 10. I love my new lime boucle socks from Dillards. 11. I wish I could get that video clip on today.msnbc.com to play of my old roommate's best friend's encounter with a robber and how she did all the right things to stay safe. I'm glad she's okay and I ...

This weekend I was berated by a 16-year-old girl because I was helping her mother, the newly baptized Mormon, divide up her paycheck into her budget envelopes and we put money into an envelope labeled "Tithing." "Don't you think $100 a month is a little excessive to give to the church? We have to get the dog groomed and it will cost $35, and my mom owes me $40 because she forgot to pick me up at the airport and I had to take a cab home and we also need to save money so we can move out of this &#^@ state. By the way, my mom tried to drink alcohol last week and the only reason she didn't is because I told her she couldn't drink and drive. We already spent some of the money from this week at Starbucks. Did my mom tell you that? Well, I didn't make any commitments to pay tithing and half of that money is mine." It hurt my ears, she whined so much. Sassy, talk-back Emily was fighting hard to surface, but was just kept in check by polite, in-someone-el...

My baby sister had a baby yesterday and I love him already. His name is Milo and he is a babe, pun intended. Congratulations, Abby and Jamie!!

At least I used to be. In my old age I've lost a bit of the passion and the fire and now I just get slightly irritated by all the ways they try to manipulate me and take my money. I just took the boys to see Chicken Little. I will admit, first and foremost, that I do not have the patience for animation. I barely have the patience to sit through any movie, but an animated movie is an especial challenge. So I wasn't expecting to like it, and it delivered pretty much what I was expecting, with a bizarro War of the Worlds/Matrix twist thrown in for good measure. But I was irritated by this: once again, Disney delivers a movie with the mom missing in action. For family values' sake, it would be nice to have just an occasional children's movie with a nuclear family intact (thank you, The Incredibles). But my irritation goes beyond family values. I FEEL MANIPULATED!!! What are those Disney people trying to say?? Are they just really unoriginal [let's see--one or both pare...

These are a couple of pictures that should have made the original round. We're 25, and I found this wool dress from the 60's (70's?) in my mother-in-law's closet, so I stole it, then washed it in the bathtub to get rid of the musty smell, and it got a ton of big holes in it all over, and I wore it anyway. Also: Steve's a babe with long hair. We're 26, and isn't it sweet?