Two things
First and foremost, happy birthday to my wonderful mom! I honestly don't know anyone more generous, giving or good with people. I like to think of myself as being generous, giving and good with people, but I've got nothing on her. She schools me, bigtime.
Some of the unique things that make my mom my mom:
- She loves my children absolutely, which is a joy and a comfort to me. When she is around, they prefer her to me. She would rather be with her grandchildren than out with the adults, but does not relax when they are around. It's constant counting heads, making snowcones, taking off too-warm clothing, changing diapers, getting drinks. It's exhausting, and she's good at it. And she loves it. (I'm pretty sure.)
- She hates flying, but flies all over the place, because travel and culture and enriching experiences and seeing family trump her fears every time.
- She also hates bridges. And swimming. And confrontation. And cooking. And bad grammar. And dopey people. And attention (this post will likely make her uncomfortable).
- She is magic with teenagers and young adults. Growing up, all her children's friends would come over just to hang out with her.
- She has always encouraged me in everything I do. (Unless that thing has any semblance whatsoever of being dangerous.) She has raised her children to be educated, openminded, and inquisitive.
- I do believe that to know my mother is to love her. Happy birthday, mom! Isn't it great that your children finally appreciate you?
Driving home from Arizona yesterday, we were stopped at a gas station/Burger King in Fillmore, Utah. A man came in, kind of scruffy, and asked the gas station attendant if he could make a call. The phone call was long distance so he couldn't use the store phone. He asked if the attendant had a cell phone, and she said she didn't. Steve was standing right there and offered the man his phone, and we stood there as he (supposedly) called his dad. "Hi, dad. We're in Fillmore. We only need about 10 or 12 dollars in gas to get home. The lady says she can't take a credit card number over the phone. Can you go to Check City and wire me some money? Okay, here's my account number."
Steve whispered to me, "Should I just buy the man some gas?"
Me: "I think he's scamming us."
Ten minutes later, we're set to leave and the man is out by his car waiting for money to appear to buy gas to get back to SLC. I remember about how charity never faileth, and tell Steve to do whatever he thinks is best. Steve goes over and buys the dude $15 worth of gas. The guy seems grateful, and we all leave.
I still felt a little distrustful, which is weird, because I always give money to the beggars in parking lots and on street corners when I see them and when I have some, even when it's quite likely that I'm being scammed. It doesn't bother me then. Mosiah 4 gets me every time (read verses 16-20, and they'll get you, too). But if this guy at the gas station was scamming us last night, it was an elaborate and dang good scam, and I didn't want to be the major sucker who fell for it. I was even tempted to redial the number on the phone and talk to the guy on the other end to check out the story. You know, say something like: "Did your son just call you asking for gas money? Don't worry. We took care of him and he's well on his way." But Steve wouldn't let me.
Our last bishop was tremendously generous with a few people who may have been scamming him, and he knew this, but said, "I'd rather be scammed than be uncharitable." So that is the principle that Steve and I talked about after we gave this guy enough gas to get back to Salt Lake. And we talked about how though that might have been a kind thing to have done on our part, it wasn't overly generous in any sense of the word. There are some people in this world who would have filled the man's tank, bought him and his friend lunch, and sent them away with a wad of cash just in case they needed it.
We aren't generous like that. What do you think? What would you have done?
Comments
question: would you rather eat candy for the rest of your life or burger king for the rest of your life? ask aaron and report back to me.
And your mom sounds like an incredible lady! Happy birthday to her!
As for the gas guy, it sounds like you did a kind thing. I have always thought of you as a generous person. I think the key is to listen to the Spirit and error on the generous side, rather than judging.
Not to say that I'm a saint because yes, I am hesitant sometimes and sometimes do it for the wrong reason (blessings for my mansion in heaven please :D), but I do have to say that I'd rather be the one to help a person than be the one person that could've and didn't.
p.s. sorry that I randomly comment on your blog every 6 months it seems :) I read it but feel weird commenting sometimes because you don't know me.
Seriously, I firmly believe that when your intentions are to be kind you can't go wrong. What you give comes back to you. One of our leaders recently said that we shouldn't give to the point we are comfortable, we should give to the point where we feel it and the giving stretches us.
I am happy to read those comments from my cousin Robyn and her two charming daughters. No wonder I liked you from the get-go! We're family! Robyn, you funny girl. Thank you, kind people, all!
As for helping people in need, I'm not consistently generous. I hope to get better. Abby will remember this from a few years back. We were pumping gas on a Saturday afternoon at the Shell station on the corner of 51st and Olive, and we observed a young family-father, mother and infant, standing by their car in the summer heat. The father was tinkering with his engine, and as I walked by them, I said something to them about their troubles. The man said he just needed gas to get to Tucson and then they'd be OK. It's odd that I got caught up in this conversation, because I'm not talkative with down-and-outers. But I found myself telling them to pull up to the pump and I would fill their tank. Now, don't tell me how insane this is, because I already know. Somehow, we ended up driving him to the auto parts store to get a part he desperately needed, while his wife and baby waited at the station. An hour and $85 later, we left them to their car repairs. Call me a sucker, but it felt right at the time. Amye
So the guy at the gas station. I really don't think he was scamming me. But if he was, it was a great scam, and he deserved to be rewarded. In any event, I had been feeling bad all day because in Page, Arizona a guy came up to the car, outside Subway, and asked for change, "cause I'm hungry, and all that." I didn't have any cash, but I offered him my vegetable chilps that I'd bought at Sprouts and that nobody in the car liked. He took them. The rest of the drive I was thinking, "Inasmuch as ye did give vegetable chips unto one of the least of these my brethren, thou didst give them unto me." And I figure at the the judgement, the Lord's going to say, "You were sitting outside subway, having just eaten your lunch, and you gave me vegetable chips?" Yeah, pretty measly offering. So how could I refuse when the guy later needed gas. I shouldhave filled the tank. I should have bought him dinner.
As for the gas guy, I would have been just as suspicious about the intents as you were, but Doug would have been just like Steve and would have just gone and done it as well. It is hard to not make judgements and I still work on just simply giving without knowing. Doug has been my example in that area- he never thinks twice- if he has it, he gives. You just never know and it IS so much better to be charitable, even if it is a scam! I think you did right!
i tried to message you on twitter... but, it turns out i am differently abled when it comes to twitter and sort of hate it (as well)-- so i am congratulating you on your pregnancy via your blog- hope you are feeling great-- soooo very happy for you!