All I know is that I don't know nothing (about AP History)

In a total and complete exercise in obsession and compulsion, I have started a Tour Through My Tape Cassette Collection of Great Mixes of Yore. And I have some pretty great mixes on tape.

While other teenagers were building volunteer hours as candystripers at the local hospital, or studying to try to get good grades on the AP History test (whatever!) or developing their talents or SOMETHING, I was spending many an hour perfecting the art of the mix tape. Rewind, fast forward, rewind, record, find the next song, oops, went too far, rewind, perfect! Laborious, I tell you. A time sucker-upper. And I was great at it. (Diana was super great at it, the best, the queen of mixes. Credit where credit is due.)

I was really quite against the transition into CDs. My future husband told me once, "I am thinking about converting my music collection to CDs." My reaction: "Why on earth would you want to do that? What a waste of money! Each CD costs at least $15, and that's ridiculous to spend that much money when you already have what you want on tape. Plus, do you really think that when you're older you are going to want the entire libraries of Def Leppard, Yes, Rush, and the Ocean Blue---on CD!?" Secretly, I was unwilling to accept that my mix tapes would become obsolete and my number one time waster would become invalid, and then I would have to do something conventional like...study for the AP History Exam, or something. And in case you were wondering, he did buy all those CDs. (Steve Craig is sooo rich! He has a job, and he never even cashes the paychecks! They are all sitting in his drawer. He doesn't even need the money. His house has 8 bathrooms!!) When we're feeling crazy, we put on Def Leppard and dance, dance, dance! Don't we, Steve?

Well, here we are 14 years later, and I have never burned a CD of any sort, I have never purchased a single song online, I have never owned an iPod. It seems much too easy. What a monster that Al Gore has created! Everything is too accessible. Like last night, when I wanted to know where water chestnuts come from, I asked Steve and when he told me, I immediately didn't believe him and so I did a google search that took 1.3 seconds, and was humbled because he was right like he usually is. End of story. No asking around, no hitting the old encyclopedia volumes, no digging through the card catalog system at the local library, under T for Tubers. It's like that with music. What were the lyrics to It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)? Let's listen individually to try to figure it out, then meet to hash it out over Eggs Over MiHammy at Denny's. Not anymore, my friend. Just go online. Easy peezy. No more poring through your father's tape collection--which he scored painstakingly at the $1 promotional table at the newspaper where he works, even though he works the night shift and doesn't get there in time for first dibs on the good music--looking for just the right song to put after I'm Sticking With You by the Velvet Underground.

ANYWAY, as I was washing the dishes just now, I put in one of those fabulous mixes that I made in the late 80s/early 90s--it's hard to tell when, as the songs weren't terribly current even then. AND, I got nostalgic and thought, Dang, this is a good mix. So I wanted to share with ya'll.

Here is my current playlist:

SIDE A
Desperado. Eagles
Stand By My Woman. Lenny Kravitz
Beds are Burning. Midnight Oil
Secret. OMD
Very First Lie. Material Issue
Dark Globe. Syd Barrett
Wonderful World. Louis Armstrong
Hairspray. Hairspray Soundtrack
Red Rain. Peter Gabriel
I Melt With You. Modern English
The Promise. When in Rome
Boys Don't Cry. The Cure
Never Tear Us Apart. INXS (Naturally, this song gets cut off in the middle, as it's at the end of the side.)

SIDE B
Nothing Compares 2U. Sinead
With or Without You. U2
Roxanne. The Police
Another Brick in the Wall Part II. Pink Floyd
Knowledge. Green Day (Before Green Day was cool, thank you!)
October. U2 (That's for you, Amy)
Big in Japan. Alphaville
Walking on the Moon. The Police
An Innocent Man. Billy Joel
The Longest Time. Billy Joel
The Greatest Love. Whitney Houston (Okay, there was a minor breakdown in coolness near the end of side B. I don't know how to explain it.)
Gloria. Manhattan Transfer (Coolness factor is restored. Whew!)


There it is! If anyone wants a copy, I can totally dub one for you. Do they still sell blank tapes at Walgreens?