The new Jennifer. That's what Emily has become. The most popular girls' name in America for 10 flippin years. The 2005 names are out and I am discouraged, oh so discouraged. Ava has made the top 10. In 1990, it was ranked 952. Thank you, Reese Witherspoon. How did my children's names fare in the popularity contest? Elliot, in 1999, number 501. Aaron, in 2001, came in at 42. Isaac, 2003? Forty-eight. If you live in Arizona and you have a boy, it is cool to name your child Angel. If you are having twin girls, name them Hope and Faith. Everybody's doing it. To my siblings: Ginger peaked in 1971. Gover has never made the top 1000, ever. But Grover peaked in 1918, the year everyone died of the flu. If Sarah would ever tell me what names she liked, I would look them up. But she's being all secretive, like I would steal her names. As if. To my sister-in-law: Congratulations on birthing my nephew today. I am excited to meet him, the little football player. Truman peaked in...